My Okaasan

Today I Met My Okaasan! /お母さんと初めて会った日！

admin — Thu, 05 Dec 1996 04:10:13 +0000

Today I met my Okaasan! Yumi, her mom (”okaasan” in Japanese) and aunt were waiting for me when I arrived at the apartment. After the long flight from Osaka, they were surprisingly full of energy. When I entered, they immediately began bowing. Okassan continued for some time afterward, “Sumimasen, sumimasen…” Yumi explained that she was apologizing. For what I wasn’t sure but when we introduced her to my aunt who lives downstairs the “apology tour” continued… “Sumimasen for meeting us. Sumimasen for your hospitality. Sumimasen for putting up with a daughter like mine. Sumimasen…” I eventually had to cut the tour short, after all we had a wedding to get ready for in three days.

First Impressions…/ 第一印象

admin — Thu, 05 Dec 1996 04:55:42 +0000

結婚式の数日前にユミの家族と出会うというのは結構緊張する事だった。　家族は、ユミは大学を卒業したら日本に帰ってくると思っていたのだ。　まさか外人と結婚してアメリカに住み着いてしまうなんて考えてもみなかったと思う。　僕の事を気に入ってもらえるかどうか、第一印象が肝心だ。　だから早速ビールを日本語ですすめてみた（それしか日本語で言えなかった）。　この試みにはみんな好感を持ってくれたようだ。　お母さんとおばちゃんに一本ずつバドワイザーの瓶を手渡した。　一瞬喜んでくれた後に困った様子を見せる二人。　慌ててユミを呼んできて通訳してもらった。　３人は何か話したあとユミがキッチンからグラスを２つ取ってきた。　『ゲッ、失敗』　でもユミの家族は喜んで笑顔をみせてくれていた。　順番に「バドワイザー！」と言いながら。　　だから僕もビールを掲げて「バドワイザー！」と言ってみんなで笑った。　『第一印象は完璧だ』などと考えているとお母さんが突然ソファーからスーツケースに駆け寄りまだデパートの袋に入ったプレゼントを僕に差し出した。　それはデザインの付いたTシャツだった。　開けて見て赤面した。　どうも僕のすばらしい第一印象もこれ以上お母さんの僕達の結婚に対する不満をおさえきれなかったようだ。　紫と黒の大きな字で書かれた言葉は「F*ck Off!」（人を侮辱するときに使う放送禁止用語の最悪な言葉）。　横を見るとおばちゃんがビール瓶を掲げて「バドワイザー！」と笑顔で言ってくれた。　

Meeting Yumi’s family for the first time just days before our marriage was a little unnerving. They had expected her to move back to Osaka after finishing college, not stay in America and marry a gaijin. First impressions would be important if they were ever going to accept me. So I offered them a beer in Japanese (about the only think I knew how to say). Everyone seemed pleased with my attempt. I handed her mother and aunt each a bottle of Budweiser. They looked confused. Panicked, I went to get Yumi to translate. They spoke briefly and then she left for the kitchen and retrieved 2 glasses. Damn! Not off to the best start. But her family were very appreciative and, smiling at me, they each took turns saying “Budweiser”. So I smiled and repeated back “Budweiser” holding up my bottle and we laughed. I was just thinking that I must be making a great first impression when Okaasan suddenly darted from the couch to her suitcase. She took out a gift for me still in the department store bag. It was a printed t-shirt. I held it up and blushed. Apparently my good first impression was not enough for her to continue to hide her displeasure over our marriage. In giant purple and black letters were written the words “F*ck Off!” and “no good”. I glanced over at Obachan. She just smiled back, holding up her bottle of beer and said “Budweiser”.

Typhoon in Los Angeles?　/ ロサンゼルスで台風？

admin — Fri, 06 Dec 1996 03:14:33 +0000

今夜は僕の両親が食事に連れて行ってくれた。　広島のおばちゃんに「タイフード（タイ料理）」を食べに行くと言ったときのちょっとした出来事。　「タイフード」と言うたびにに心配そうにあたりを見回すおばちゃん。　おばちゃんと一緒の車に乗ってきたユミがレストランに到着してから説明してくれた。　おばちゃんはみんなが「タイフード」と言うたびに「台風」と言っていると思っていたそうだ。　

My parents took us out to eat tonight. Only one brief incident when we tried to explain to Hiroshima no Obachan (Yumi’s aunt from Hiroshima) that we were going out for tai food. Every time one of us said tai food she began to look around nervously. It wasn’t until we arrived at the restaurant that Yumi, who had been riding in a seperate car, explained to us that Obachan thought we were saying “typhoon” not tai food.

Buying Japanese

admin — Fri, 06 Dec 1996 05:34:00 +0000

I wonder what it must be like for Yumi’s family to meet her soon-to-be husband. My family was ecstatic over our wedding announcement. But they had months to get to know and love Yumi. It’s amazing how people’s attitudes change with time. Growing up in multi-cultural Los Angeles I knew surprisingly little about Japan other than we had fought a war with them, and my dad considered anyone who bought a Japanese automobile a traitor. In fact, my first act of teenage rebellion was buying a Toyota – I’ve bought Japanese cars ever since. Now I was even marrying Japanese!

American Arms…and not the weapons/アメリカ人の奇妙な腕

admin — Sat, 07 Dec 1996 05:29:18 +0000

今日ユミのお父さんが到着した。　会社の社長ときいていたので堂々とした人を想像していた。　でも実際会ってみるとお父さんは思っていたよりも小さくて愛想の良い人だった。　それにとても気前が良くてダイニングルーム用のテーブルセットやリビングルームのカウチも買ってくれた。　でも娘の結婚式にアメリカに行くという興奮のために会社の従業員の給料の入った金庫の鍵をアメリカまで持ってきてしまった。　おまけに明日の結婚式用のワイシャツを持ってくるのも忘れてしまった。　どうやって給料を払ったのかは知らないが、近所のモールで明日用のワイシャツを買うことは出来た。　困ったのは一番小さいサイズでも袖がお父さんの腕の２倍くらい長いこと。　どうやらアメリカ人の腕は奇妙なほど異常に長いらしい。　ま、とにかく早く寝よう。　明日はビッグデーだ。

Yumi’s dad arrived today. When she said he was a President at his company, I was half expecting an imposing figure. But he was much smaller and friendlier than my image of him. He was also very generous (He bought us a new dining room table & couch). However, in all the excitement of coming to America for his daughter’s wedding, he had apparently locked his employees’ paychecks in the safe and had the only key with him. He also forgot his dress shirt to wear at the wedding tomorrow. Don’t know how he will pay his workers but he was able to find a shirt at the mall. Unfortunately, even the smallest shirt had sleeves twice as long as his arms. Apparently Americans have freakishly disproportionately long arms. Anyway, better get some sleep. Tomorrow’s the big day.

Married!!!

admin — Mon, 09 Dec 1996 01:39:30 +0000

On the anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day, 1996, Yumi and I were married in the Little Brown Church in the Valley in Los Angeles. I picked it because it was the same place President Ronald Regan was married. I selected the date because I never wanted to be accused of forgetting our anniversary and now I had the whole US media to remind me each year. I thought Yumi’s family would be impressed by the church’s historic past. The truth is, it was small, dark and if you threw a little saw dust on the floor you could’ve severed ribs and squid-on-a-stick during the service and no one would have been surprised.

Honeymoon and Highschool Band/ハネムーンとハイスクールバンド

admin — Mon, 09 Dec 1996 04:14:32 +0000

とても疲れているので短く書こう。　結婚式はとてもよかった。　レーガン元大統領が結婚式をした「リトルブラウンチャーチインザバレー」で式をした。　披露宴もよかった。　でも肝心なのはその後での出来事だ。　　ほろ酔い気分でホテルに到着した。　エレガントで枕の上にはチョコレートがあった。　ジュクジタブのそばにはシャンペンのボトルとグラスも用意してあった。　でも不運な事にカリフォルニア州で行われている高校生のブラスバンド大会に出場するための子供達が同じホテルに泊まっていたのだ。　廊下を行ったり来たり走り回っては酔っ払った高校生が全てのドアをノックしていっている、もちろん僕達のドアも。　こんなことが１時間ほど続いた後とうとう家に帰ることにした。　真夜中にアパートに到着した。　誰も起こさないようにとそおっと裏のドアから入っていってユミのウエディングドレスと荷物をドアのそばに残して、僕の両親の家まで車を返しに行った。　その後帰ってくるとアパートの明かりが全て付いていた。　どうやらおばちゃんは僕達が荷物を置きに帰ったとき物音を聞いて、泥棒でも入ってきた（そしてウエディングドレスを残していった？）のかとびびってしまっていたらしい。　それからはもう眠れなかったそうだ。　だからそのまま夜中の３時まで皆でビールを飲みながらその日の出来事をいろいろ話した。　ところで、この家族のメンバーになるれるのはかなり嬉しい。　同じ言葉は話さないが一生懸命コミュニケートしょうとしてるだけでとても楽しい。

Very tired so I have to make this short. The wedding was great. Got married in the same church as former President Ronald Reagan (the Little Brown Church in the Valley). Reception was great. But the fun came afterward. Slightly tipsy we arrived at the hotel. It was elegant, chocolates left on the pillows, a Jacuzzi tub and bottle of champagne awaited us. Unfortunately, students participating in a state-wide high school band competition had all chosen that night to check into our hotel. They then took turns stumbling down the hallway and knocking on our door, one drunk teen at a time. This went on for about an hour until we finally decided to leave. Midnight we arrived back at the apartment. We quietly snuck in the back door, hoping not to wake her family. Yumi placed her wedding dress by the door and then we left to return my parents’ car. When we arrived back at our apartment the lights were all on. It seems Yumi’s aunt had heard the noise at the back door and freaked out, thinking someone had broken in (and left a wedding dress???). They couldn’t sleep after that. So we all sat up until 3am drinking and replaying the day’s events. As a side note: I think I’m going to really like being a part of this family. We may not speak the same language but we sure have a good time trying. Goodnight.

Meeting My Parents

admin — Tue, 10 Dec 1996 03:52:52 +0000

I was a little nervous about Yumi’s family meeting my parents for the first time. After all, having been adopted after my mother’s death is hard to explain to Japanese; a culture in which adoption is far less common. But that’s not what was worrying me. You see my parents are very different from Yumi’s. To start with, they are loud, very loud. And no one takes turns talking because everyone has mastered the skill of talking at the same time. Secondly, my mother always speaks her mind regardless of how appropriate. The classic is when my Dad invites people over for dinner and as they sit down to eat she then warns them that she doesn’t think there is enough food for everyone. I remember making the mistake of bringing a date home once. Shortly after we arrived, my Mom inexplicably launched into a story about how I once wet the bed as a kid followed by 101 other embarrassment facts about my past. But she also has a kind side, though often a little misguided. For example, every month she has a company spray the yard for bugs. I suppose the guilt of insect genocide is just too much. So the night before she gathers as many bugs as she can find and puts them into containers inside the house until after they finish spraying. My Dad on the other hand loves to entertain. He can always be found at the BBQ grilling away and even pouring cups of coffee for guests at the end of the night. But he is also a blue collar guy and quite provincial. In high school I was once offered an all-expenses paid trip to France but he refused to let me go because he didn’t care for the French. Well fortunately my fears about our parents meeting were unfounded. With Yumi having to translate every word, our parents got along famously. I guess sometimes it helps to not understand a word the other person is really saying.

The Call of the Sirens…

admin — Wed, 11 Dec 1996 04:28:48 +0000

Yumi’s family couldn’t help but to notice the frequent sirens heard from our new apartment. Yumi explained that that there was both a police and fire station about a mile away. And around the corner was the Grossman Burn Center where ambulances can often be heard approaching with sirens blaring. Okaasan seemed unusually fascinated by the various sirens. I may have been the only one who noticed that with each siren, Okaasan would run to the window to see what was passing by… a police car, fire engine or ambulance? Tonight, I was in the bedroom while the family sat on the couch chatting when another siren rung out. Anticipating Okaasan’s next move, I rushed out of the room and suddenly Okaasan and I were both racing across the living room while everyone looked on surprised. If Okaasan was the least bit surprised to see me following her she didn’t show it. We reached the dining room window, which faces the street, and even before looking outside she stated with confidence, “fire truck”. She was right.

Famous in Japan…

admin — Thu, 12 Dec 1996 03:15:21 +0000

Yumi’s Dad is not use to going outside to smoke. But in Southern California, most people have already abandoned the filthy habit and prefer not to be around it. Except me… but I go outside to smoke anyway because I hate the smell. Ironically, one of my only past experiences with the Japanese had to do with cigarettes. After years of playing in bands, at age 24 stardom finally came knocking on my door – sort of. I still had the hair and outfit of a true rock star, just not the talent. One afternoon I went to Santa Monica to meet a friend for lunch. She was a dancer auditioning for a Cabin Cigarette commercial. The building was across the street from the beach and there was no parking in sight. I finally settled for a lot that cost me every penny I had on me. Nothing left to buy lunch with. So I walked the seven blocks to inform my lunch date she would be eating alone.

When I arrived, I was immediately Polaroided and then led into a room full of grim looking Japanese business men and women. The translator had me circle around the conference table a couple times while they inspected me as I passed by. Two days later I received the call offering me a featured role. Unlike American commercials, no royalties – just enough cash to pay for parking and a night out. I realized that they had mistakenly thought I was there to audition but I was so broke that I said yes. Now I just needed to learn how to dance.